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A Lonely Woman - sort of
 
Welcome to my blog!
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Have I found the one?
Posted:Oct 18, 2017 7:59 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:47 pm
1922 Views

I have not posted in a while and that is my own failing.

Now though I am inspired to post by a man I have found. We met through here and we have not met in person yet... but I find that obeying him comes easy. That his ideas and fantasies seem to match with mine and that I am comfortable calling him sir.

For me, I never thought I would find the right man or even come close to it. I figured I would have the odd bit of fun and that nothing would ever come of it. This man though, lives reasonably close which is a good thing and he wants to feminize me. He wants to take away my last vestiges as a man and make me his slut and his property. He seems to desire me in the right way and is comfortable with the things I tell him.

So tomorrow I hope to meet him for the first time and we shall see how it goes. Hopefully I will get to grant him his first fantasy, to have me naked in his house in just a pair of heels for a night.

I guess it is a case of, we shall see.
0 Comments
It's strange the things you realise
Posted:Jul 24, 2017 7:28 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:47 pm
2318 Views

The other day I was in work, now my work involves me having to meet people for various reasons in different situations. On this day I had to go and talk to a guy at his place of work. He was Austrian and clearly a bit of a geek, nerdy even and he was nearly 50. So I did my work thing with him, talking business but as I spoke I got a feeling. Deep inside I started to realise I was actually attracted to him.

He was not particularly manly but he was definitely of interest to me even though I was dressed as a guy and was supposed to be having sensible thoughts. I started to think about how I wanted him. Not that I expected him to be some great, powerful lover, underneath his exterior but I realised something else. He would make a great cuckold lover. The sort of guy I could live with and have arrange for me to be fucked by real men.

It is a strange feeling as I never thought that a cuckold lover would be a thing for me. I normally find myself battling the feelings of not always wanting a real man in my life while thinking about what it would be like to be fucked by one. It's not like I hadn't considered a cuckold lover, just that I had never thought I would find a guy who would work for this. Until that day.

Business concluded, he asked me whether I wanted to go and get a coffee. Oh my God! I thought, he desires that life as well, he had a sexual interest in me. Sadly in that moment I bottled it but now I wonder, if I had said yes...
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Wow is it really that long?
Posted:Jul 18, 2017 4:39 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:47 pm
2340 Views

Is it really that long since I last posted anything? To be honest I completely forgot that I even had a blog. Maybe that is a sign that I have been managing my conflict well recently but then I had a chance to flirt with a guy. It was heaven, dancing over him, winding him up, having him tell me how he wants to fuck me.

All that has done though is serve to reawaken what I thought were well managed feelings. Now I have a real craving to be with a guy again and I have a couple of them in mind. Real men who want a girl like me, it feels like heaven. Then I have received a message from a TS who lives in my local area. Just a pity I do not have access to their message as I am not a gold member. Maybe they could help show me a way to balance all these thoughts or even just help give me the courage to go through with the whole process.

It just seems crazy to me though that my biggest urge is to be a Sara Jay or someone similar. Gorgeous, curvy, incredibly fuckable and with no sense of shame. Oh how I wish to be like that. Maybe one day someone will grant me my dream.

Until then X
0 Comments
My Fantasy of The Day
Posted:Mar 28, 2017 3:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:47 pm
3231 Views

Every know and then I get some crazy fantasy and I just have to get it out. Here is the one that I am having today.

I'm the 3rd of a Roman Senator who has fallen on hard times financially. He is also having to fight a battle to keep hidden from society that I am also a disgrace to the family after being caught in bed with one of the household slaves.

My father is desperate to come up with a solution though and then one day I give it to him. I know that in his wider circle of friends are some very kinky and morally lose men, all of whom are powerful and rich. The proposal meanwhile is simple, I will, in private, give up my citizenship and allow myself to be sold to one of these men as a slave. I am curvy, sexy and desirable and I know that I will bring a very very good price. Those powerful perverts love the thought of being able to own someone who is so well bred.

Desperate for the cash and angry and being already spoiled by my previous adventures my father agrees. A few weeks later all is set and my potential buyers attend my father's house for a large party. During the party are games and shows, many of them of a sexual nature. I parade around as his , my status set by his position and join in as a member of the party.

Then the time arrives. All of those who are not to be privy to what happens next are removed until only a small clique of 6 potential bidders, my father and two of his most trusted slaves and I are left.

Standing before the small crowd I am called forward and presented to the group. My father looks at me and I nod back, "I am ready" I say. At a given command I remove my ring of citizenship and the slaves then strip my clothes from my body to leave me naked, smooth and exposed. A leather collar is then place around my neck with an iron ring at the front. Staying in my position the potential bidders each inspect me without touching. They are free to ask as many questions, probing, personal, embarrassing questions as they like. Each is answered honestly and openly by me and then the bidding begins.

Just five minutes later one of the bidders, a tall, dark haired man in his mid 30's steps forward and places a leash on me. He is presented with a document of ownership and he then guides me from that house, my families finances secured.

To hide the truth from others, they are told that I have been taken permanently ill and so will never be seen in public again. In reality I travel hidden away from public eyes as a slave and for my new master.

His favourite entertainment? To take me to visit like minded friends; have me parade before them and then let their muscular, hung, Nubian slaves take me in groups of 2 or more.

Obviously I have not written this in story form, more a sort of basic explanation. Maybe I should make it a proper story someday? Let me know what you think.
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So Maybe This Will Help
Posted:Mar 28, 2017 3:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:47 pm
3056 Views

I'm hoping that being able to sit here, use IM when it works and chatting to people who want me will help. Help in what, I am not exactly sure but you never know what you will find unless you look. It's just a pity now that I am 41 years old and not 20. Oh to be 20 years old and be bouncing up and down on some big cocks with what felt like the boundless energy of youth.

I know that many people have similar thoughts to me, it is said that the cuck male thinks about being the wife or girlfriend who he is watching being fucked. For me though I also think about being the attractive woman who I see walking down the street. Not just a, she is fit but a "wow I wish I could look and dress like that in public".

Then, maybe, I could be as lucky as that girl as well in the choice of boyfriend she has. This feeling is particularly strong when I know that the girl is hanging on the arm of a particularly muscular or toned guy. Even stronger if that guy is black.

Yes, like many of a certain type of white girl, I have a strong desire to be taken by black men. I don't understand what the attraction is, I don't know whether it is the reputation or whether it triggers some form of taboo thoughts. It is a strong desire that I feel though and it is something I would love to explore. Though in reality, I must confess to just being a size queen. The biggest cock I ever had was 9 inches and I'd love to go there again and even go bigger. When a man has size, he is always guaranteed to at least get a hello from me.

For now though, I think I have blogged enough for today.

August
0 Comments
What Can I Say
Posted:Mar 28, 2017 3:19 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:47 pm
3080 Views

It's simple really. A long time ago I made some decisions and while I am comfortable with them maybe I should have made some others. The urges come and go, stronger and weaker with every passing year, month, week, day or hour. They never go completely though.

In my mind I am not the man I was born, I'm not even really a TV/ TS/ TG. What I am is the woman that I wish I was. Curvy and large breasted in my mind's eye in dreams my most successful moments come from being a three hole slut. How this alternative version of me fits into a relationship I am never completely certain. Sometimes I want a special man to love, at other times a master and then there are those times where I just want to fuck around as the mood takes me.

What I do know is that I rarely see myself as being the faithful type. That's not that I don't want to lie on my back while a man makes love to me. It's just that there are other times when I need to be taken, to be used; for sex to be about something other than romance and love.

For me, sex is about being a toy, a porn star, a slut, a cum dump. I don't have the need to orgasm, though I have achieved a completely internal orgasm before. Just to be taken by men and women who appreciate what I am. A sexual object trapped in the wrong body.
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Have I found the one? (1)PeterORsomthing
Nov 22, 2017 2:41 pm