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| Blogs > whoisagentj > The Dossier of Agent J |
Even the most confident people wavier from time to time
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Even the most confident people wavier from time to time I wouldn't call myself a confident person. Rational, a realist from time to time, yes...but confident? Sometimes yes, and other times, no. If I ever approached someone when I was younger, it wasn't because I was confident. It was because I just didn't give a fuck about people. Me in my 20s: "Hi, I'm Joseph. Care to dance?" Hot woman in her 20s: "With you? No." Me in my 20s: "OK, whatever." (looks at her semi-hot girlfriend) "How about you? Would you care to dance?' Hot woman's friend: "Get lost loser." Me in my 20s: "Ok, whatever, I'll go ask the women over there. I'm sure they have more class than both of you." And then I'd go up to a really smoking hot woman and say: "Hey you see those two women over there? They turned me down when I asked them to dance. Would you do me a solid favor? I don't want to be disrespectful, but would you dance with me so I can make them look like shit, so I can get back at them?" Really hot smoking woman: "Sure, I'll even kiss you when they are looking." Me in my 20s: "That would be awesome!" And then we'd dance right in front of them and she would proceed to make out with me on the dance floor. And once in a great while if I was lucky, we'd actually talk, connect, and I'd go to her place and have sex all night for a one night stand. Now back then, I didn't care about women. Now...I do care. Because I have a . And I want to have a relationship with a decent woman. And I don't have the same confidence because my ex wife did a bang up job at tearing me apart and making me feel like a piece of shit. Me as I am now, my confidence isn;t what it was back then. Oh sure, I can just not give a shit about women, but that's not me anymore. I have feelings. I don't want to be just another guy that uses women like toys or playthings just to get laid. I want a deep, meaningful connection with a good woman and be in love with that person. AND....have lots of sex as well with my partner. LOL! Who doesn't? The point is...I honestly don't know if I'm going to find someone soon. You've heard about a woman's biological clock ticking, yes? Well we men, sort of have that as well. I'm not that good looking as I once was. My youth is going. And I don't know if I can find someone I can connect with and fall in love again. I want to, dear god, do I want to. And I'm willing to be patient, but man, I don't know how much longer am I going to be able to keep searching like this. I know, it's probably weird for a guy to be opening up like this and being this vulnerable, posting stuff like this. The point is...I'm not a normal guy. I never was. I'm just me. And a lot of women don't like men being vulnerable like this, because they think it makes a man look weak. The point is, me sharing that I am not confident doesn't make me look weak. It means that I'm strong enough to show everyone one of my vulnerabilities and accept I'm not that confident as I once was. People change. And time changes people. I just hope somewhere in God's plan that one day I will find someone. But until then...man, it sucks to be alone. Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent  |
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5/14/2019 4:49 pm |
Respect to your honesty! to thyself be true! time waits for NO man and I get what you say about wanting to find that person! it does suck being alone and the internet seems just another cattle market. it's a woman's world these days and a vast majority of the women post profiles describing looking for a partner like ordering a Robot the guy must be everything apart from mentioning him having feelings! So i'm with you pal, I own who I am now and it's more healthy than wearing that fake superman mask that eventually slips off! better to take it off than have it slip off. God bless you in your Search.
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Thanks for reading. Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent
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