Stuck in these shoes  

Mikemike107015 48M  
70 posts
12/7/2018 7:51 am
Stuck in these shoes

Sometimes I still feel like I'm losing
Sometimes I still feel all alone
Sometimes I still feel I won't make it through this on my own
Because I'm stuck in these shoes
I got nothing to lose
I've played the fool
I broke all of the rules
Now I have to choose
Because I'm stuck in these shoes
I've referenced my favorite singer songwriter many times. Aaron Lewis has written so many words like these in so many songs it's almost spooky for me. So many times they seem to fit where I'm at in my own personal struggles perfectly.
So lately I've been feeling stuck in these shoes. You know...Not making any sort of progress really. I feel like I've just been spinning my wheels, treading water,and any other cliche one can think of to explain the feeling of going no where. In fact many times I feel as though I'm slipping backwards.
I joined this site to hook up. The goal was to meet like minded people and share nothing but fun. Many times I sit and contemplate about the way my experience has evolved here. Somehow along the way I've become more interested in just having a good conversation than hooking up.
So...what the hell happened. Why have I become this way?
I think the first reason is pretty simple. There are very few attractive single women here locally looking for the same thing. It seems anytime a new prospect comes along they are gone before I get the chance to get any response from them. They get run out of here by the shear volume of messages they get. At least that is what I've been told. A local woman I've been trying to speak to for a couple weeks is already soon to be gone I'm sure. If I'm lucky I get a hi or hello back from her and that's it for the conversation. I noticed she has like 150 friends already so the odds of and actual conversation with her seem to be dwindling by the minute. Interestingly enough this is sort of the same reason I avoid bars. I mean it's like 60 guys drooling over 4 chicks...the odds of success stink. Plus I really don't like to drink especially if I'm looking for sex.
Because of all this I evolved into a couples seeker. I've been lucky enough to have success in this area and have several I see from time to time. However I am always searching for more because I'm getting more picky about the women and other than one of the couples I see the women are much heavier than I prefer. This presents many challenges. Many aren't looking for men. Many are particular about someone who is bi or not. And many I've found are really just men. The last one really grinds my gears. I can't tell you how many times I've talked with what I thought was a couple searching for men only to discover that the proposition comes downs are you interested in playing with just me...the man half? No. I'm not. Yes I'm listed as bi. Yes I've played with men. Yes I still play with one particular man from time to time. But that's about it. I'm not interested in men. I want women. Period. Get it?
And so...the evolution continues. I've pretty much given up seeking playmates. I mean if something comes along then great but I'm not on here constantly seeking out others for such things anymore. I find I've been much more interested in having an interesting conversation to pass the time in the evening than anything else. Which brings me to realize something about myself. The fact is...I'm quite lonely.
It's a strange place to be. I don't feel alone. I live with my two sons. But I do find that I like to talk to different people about different things. I find it's very therapeutic to talk about the struggles we all face. The problem is finding someone here as much as me who enjoys just talking as well. Most people have lives outside of here that keep them busy. Personally I work many hours and find myself just relaxing alone when I'm not. I don't want to go out. I don't want to do much other than save my money and chat with interesting people.
So at the end of the day here I am. Stuck in these shoes. Making little progress in my life and it's becoming quite frustrating. So if you see me on here in the evening feel free to say hi and know that I'm always interested in talking.
Peace. Mike

Mikemike107015 48M  
28 posts
12/7/2018 7:53 am

Please excuse my rambling but it does make me feel better lol

matutum50 68M
32 posts
12/7/2018 8:09 am

maybe a change in job- location- start a hobby- very very few people spark my interest- I'm not lonely, people just plain suck- I go fishing - hiking- ride my motorcycle - alone- if you get that lonely go to wal mart- lol, that always reminds me of how lucky I am to be self suffecient

bitchkitty2017 66F  
1669 posts
12/7/2018 8:09 am

getting stuff out on a rant , ramble or clearing your soul don't feel bad because there is always someone who is gonna listen..I don't make the " busk up little soldier " speeches because I have heard them all so just keep on doing what you can..peace!

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