Once in a Blue Moon
 
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Please Stand By
Posted:Jan 6, 2022 12:25 pm
Last Updated:Jan 7, 2022 6:55 am
2414 Views
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten year old in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said.
"An ambulance just drove by."

A few moments passed.

"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.

"Matts riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and dad shot up in bed.

"How do you know that ?" the startled father asked.

"Their is standing out on the balcony too," his replied.





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I would like to say thank you to those who have replied to blog posts in the past few days.
I will start commenting back soon !!

~Wee~
8 Comments
Getting On Or Getting Off
Posted:Jan 5, 2022 9:42 am
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2022 9:51 am
1898 Views
A woman listens in on her 4-year-old playing with his train set.

The train stops and the little boy announces, " All you sons of a bitches getting on, get on and all you sons of a bitches getting off, get off !!"

Very unhappy his mother spanks his bum plus sends him up to his room until he learns his lesson.

Two hours later the little boy came back downstairs, went into the kitchen and apologized to his mother, then proceeded back to his train set.

As he sits down he announces, "All of you sons of a bitches getting on, get on and oll you sons of a bitches getting off, get off......

Anyone with complaint about the two hour delay, please go and talk to the bitch in the kitchen !!"



~Wee~
9 Comments
Teaming Up
Posted:Jan 4, 2022 9:27 am
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2022 12:49 am
2019 Views
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic please ?"

She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that ?"

The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover."

The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder !"

At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist"s husband.

She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."



~Wee~
12 Comments
Voodoo Dick
Posted:Jan 3, 2022 11:03 am
Last Updated:Jan 4, 2022 4:32 am
2185 Views
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn't home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn't need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts "Voodoo Dick, the door !" The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. "Voodoo Dick, the lamp !" The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier's desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. "Voodoo Dick, return to your box !" The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: "The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand." says the cashier. "You must never forget that !" The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout "Voodoo Dick, my pussy !" The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly six to eight hours. She soon begins to grow tired and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can but just can't get it it. The wife panicks and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims "Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won't come out !" The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. "Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.".......



~Wee~
7 Comments
Midnight Door Knock
Posted:Jan 2, 2022 1:25 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2022 5:26 am
2271 Views
An elderly couple were fast asleep at midnight, when they were awakened by a series of loud knocks on the door.

The man goes downstairs with a frown and opens the door a man sayin "I need a push...could you help, sir ?"

The old man slams the door and returns the bedroom with a scowl.

His wife says "How could you do that that poor man ? You DO remember when our was stranded and that kind stranger helped her along dont you ?"

Sighing...the old man once again puts his house shoes on and opens the front door. "Sir...my apologies. I'm here if you really do need a push..." The stranger says "Yes sir thank you I do..." The old man says "well ok where are you ?"

"Over here...on the swing..."



The ongoing chest cold... Ok since that I zero experience with Benadryl, the first night I took one pill in the evening with no milk see just what was capable of doing for my tight chest congestion. I survived with my fair share of coughing but I figured that stuff was working on my broncual tubes and the coughing would knock the mucas loose. Day two is when I took a pill during the morning then drank some milk along with it. I could feel the difference as my chest lightened up but still was a cough. A evening came along I could feel the effect of the Benadryl falling off so I did another round and drank some milk too. Once again feeling 's effects kicking in. Of coarse I had been graced with the inability sleep by now so I rode the storm out all night long. Once again by early morning I had to do some more Benadryl and milk. After this round kicked in, I began feeling more comfortable and not so miserable. Able to breath wiht decent lung capacity for a change. The best thing is that I was actually able to sleep. I kinda knew htat this would take some time to cure since it is the worst that I ever had a chest cold and flu in all my years. I will resume taking again tonight and tomorrow for better results. All that I can say is that sure is nice be able breath once again plus the cough mellow out...
a good night !

~Wee~
7 Comments
In Your Letter...
Posted:Jan 1, 2022 12:44 pm
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2022 5:03 am
2308 Views
One day, a dad overheard his praying in her room. She said "Bless mom, bless dad, bless grandmom, goodbye grandad". He found this weird but didn't say anything. A few hours later the family finds out that her grandad had passed away. The dad freaked out initially, but chalked it up to coincidence and carried on.

A week later, he again overhears his praying. This time she says "bless mom, bless dad, goodbye grandma". The dad figures this is a good way to put his fears to rest, but sure enough before the day ended, the family finds out her grandmother is no more. Now the dad is freaking the fuck out, he thinks his has supernatural abilities and shit.

A week later, he hears his praying again. "Bless mom, bless brother, goodbye dad". The dad loses his shit and can't think straight. He drives straight to office and locks the door. He refuses to eat all day, constantly checking the windows and doors. He thinks if he can just make it to the end of the day he'll be alright. Finally it passes midnight and he sighs of relief.

He drives home confident his is full of shit. His wife meets him at the door and gives him an earful about how it's 1 am. He says "Yeah babe, I had the worst day at work today". She replies with "Oh yeah ? My day was worse. The fucking mailman dropped dead on our porch."



Happy New Years everyone, I hope yours went well weather you partied or brought it in more mellow like simular to many of us did.
I thought that I would mention that last week sometime I had read a tech story where scientists have found that Benadryl plus milk proteins will heal Covid. Well I don't have Covid bit have caught something just below it, severe chest cold and flu, so I thought to myself "Hmmmm, I need to try this scientist thingy out." Well I am here to give positive feedback because this HAS made a dent in whatever cold flu virus that has clung to me. The first thing that has worked in over 3 weeks ! It actually has opened up my lung capacity quite a bit. All that I can say is that FINALLY, some relief !!
15 Comments
After Midnight
Posted:Dec 31, 2021 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2022 4:56 am
2429 Views
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise !' Well, the hours passed and the drinks went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit pissed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT !)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one ! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'

When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times' then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times' cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.



Happy New years everyone. I hope yours goes well too !

I have been missing here for a few days, I am not one to draw attention from misfortune, ill health or fate but I will say one thing. What I have been fighting is not covid. I was checked for it. Just a plain old chest cold that is still kicking my butt.... big time.

Once again, Happy New Years to you and yours !

~Wee~
7 Comments
A Snail Tale
Posted:Dec 29, 2021 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2021 2:38 am
2593 Views
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major big shots of Rome. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach.

As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman without a bikini top strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would just come down and talk to me."

He went back to gathering the snails, when all of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking and she invited him back to her place. They were at her apartment, a way down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and muggy that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out.

At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no! My wife"s dinner party !" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of the apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all up and down the stairs.

The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the doorway wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails now crawling all over the steps, looked at his wife and then back at the snails and yelled :

"Come on guys, we're almost there !"



~Wee~
8 Comments
And The One Hundred Dollar Winner Is.....
Posted:Dec 28, 2021 12:58 pm
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2021 5:00 am
3123 Views
Three friends decided to bet each other 100 dollars on who could make their wives scream more during sex.

They all went home to have sex with their wives and make them scream.

The next day they met up again. The first friend said, "I made love to my wife for two hours and she was screaming for at least one-and-a-half hours."

The second friend countered, "That's nothing. I started licking my wife for two hours and she was screaming the whole time and a half-hour after that."

Then the third friend said, "That's pathetic. I made love to my wife for ten minutes, I came a couple times, I wiped my dick in the curtain and she's still screaming !!





Now for the version of how my wife was screaming, LOL (not what you are thinking). Over Christmas, yes we did get snow. We had around 3 inches of snow before all of this white fluff laid down. I believe we picked up around nine or ten inches of snow. My garage door faces east. I have her driving a lifted Jeep Wrangler with 33 inch tires (she wouldn't let me install 35 inch tires on it when I built it, dammit ) But anyway, she headed out to go to her part time weekend job on Sunday. She came back into the house screaming (so to speak). You see the east bound driveway from my garage is uphill to the main road. The north/south driveway runs level alongside the main road as the main road tapers downhill heading north. My house is around one hundred and fifty feet west of the main road. We had a fairly strong wind from the east Saturday night. That left a four foot deep snow drift up the east driveway because of how the snow had drifted over the road during the night and a three foot drift along two hundred and fifty feet of north/south driveway. After going out to start up the Jeep she came back into the house screaming (so to speak) that she will get stuck trying to get to the road. (our starts barking and I told him to shut up) I said that my ATV and plow are out on the west acreas and buried in the new snow that blew in, plus the battery is dead. I said, "It's a Jeep, just plow through it, that's why I built it like that is because of our North Dakota winters." "I will get stuck..." she said. "Look, my tow truck is in front of the house (starts barking again and we both told him to shut up) and that I could winch her out with ease." starts barking once again so I went over to where the center blind of one of the south picture windows is lifted about a foot to see what he was barking at. One of our neighbors down the road a ways over the hill had came onto the estate with a big snowblower and started clearing our driveway with it. The light snow never took him long to clear. He said that they were totally snowed in up and over the hill to the south so he had upened the road. I thanked him to where he said "I owed you one since you normally keep that road open with your ATV." Anyway that night we took a smaller round cake and a cheese cake over to them for their help plus a nice little card tucked between the cakes covers. I wish I got along with all my neighbors that well. So anyway, we had a white Christmas here and still are digging out. Both my snow blowers and my ATV are buried still but it is light snow. When I check for snow cover total on the Ventusky weather site (best live weather site around) it shows us having thirteen point eight inches of snow... it shows too while looking out my west patio doors. The doesn't even want go outside, if he walks down to the lower deck, he disappears under the snow lol. And to think that a week ago we had temps in the upper fourties.... I wasn't ready for this snow.... Enjoy your day !

~Wee~

14 Comments
Bullfrog Blowjob
Posted:Dec 27, 2021 11:07 am
Last Updated:Dec 28, 2021 1:10 pm
3094 Views
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend a pet, but after looking around she realized all the pets were very expensive.

A clerk came up and asked if there was something he could help her with.

"I wanted to buy my boyfriend a pet, but all yours are so expensive !"

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00. Would you like to see it ?"

"$50.00?? For a frog ??" said the woman.

"It's a special frog. It gives blowjobs."

The woman decides to buy the frog. She takes it home to her boyfriend, explains the frog and they're both happy.

The woman goes to bed, but around two in the morning she is awakened by pots and pans banging around in the kitchen. She gets up to go see what's going on and gets to the kitchen to see her boyfriend and the frog sitting at the kitchen table looking through cookbooks.

"What are you two doing looking through cookbooks at this hour ?"

The guy looks up at her and says, "Well, if I can teach this frog to cook, you're outta here !!!"

10 Comments
Still Believe In Genies ?
Posted:Dec 26, 2021 12:21 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2021 8:16 am
3708 Views
A couple was golfing one day on a very,,very exclusive golf course lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball, don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."

The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say "Come on in."

They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window ?"

"Uh, yeah, Sorry about that !" the husband replied.

"No, actually I want to thank you, I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."

"OK. great !" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem, it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want ?" the genie said, looking at the wife."I want a house in every country of the world" she said.

"Consider it done." the genie replied.

"And what's your wish genie ?" the husband said.

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I havent had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care."

The genie takes the wife upstairs and ravishes her for two hours.

After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife and said, "How old is your husband anyway ?"

"45" she replied.

"And he still believes in genies ?... That is amazing !!!!! "



~Wee~

9 Comments
... Do Whatever You Want
Posted:Dec 25, 2021 2:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2021 7:16 am
3350 Views
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.

Two days before the group is supposed to leave, Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob;s friends are very upset that he can't go, but there's nothing they can do.

Two days later, the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.

"Dang man, how long have you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go ?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday," Rob begins. "Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who ?" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie.

She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed were handcuffs and ropes !

She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, 'Now, you can do whatever you want.'

So here I am."




~Wee~
5 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Please Stand By (9)spunkycumfun
Jan 7, 2022 2:50 am
Getting On Or Getting Off (9)PonyGirl1965
Jan 5, 2022 11:31 pm
Teaming Up (12)oral4bothU
Jan 5, 2022 11:17 am
Voodoo Dick (7)PonyGirl1965
Jan 3, 2022 11:57 pm
In Your Letter... (16)CarpeJamie
Jan 3, 2022 11:46 pm
Midnight Door Knock (7)spunkycumfun
Jan 3, 2022 3:51 am
After Midnight (8)spunkycumfun
Jan 1, 2022 2:59 am
And The One Hundred Dollar Winner Is..... (15)CarpeJamie
Dec 30, 2021 1:12 am
A Snail Tale (8)CarpeJamie
Dec 30, 2021 1:09 am
Bullfrog Blowjob (23)spunkycumfun
Dec 28, 2021 3:48 am
Still Believe In Genies ? (20)EnigmaInitiative
Dec 27, 2021 6:36 am