Me Without Anything Else
Stuff that occurs to me that I want to share, for whatever reason at the time.
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HAPPY 5th OF JULY - part 3 of 3.
Posted:Jul 5, 2019 6:08 pm
Last Updated:Jul 9, 2019 10:03 pm

You see, this 4th of July parade is not for the general public at all .... or even those like whomever, for whatever reason, dropped out, and then at some point, to an extent, dropped back in to the UP ... like me. From our perspective, we can marvel and appreciate that little say hi to us in the park, and ask us if they can pet our and its OK in Winter on Sunday nights for ATVs to run on city streets to get home from the lake and day of ice fishing and those of all ages pause to say please and thank you for Halloween treats, etc. In fact, from our perspective, us out and back insiders probably value this stuff more than those who have stayed here .... perhaps just cause we have seen too much of the outside world.

But to really appreciate and enjoy a Fourth of July parade here, one has to earn that pleasure. By its very nature, this pleasure can not be bestowed ... given or even appreciated even if fully understood. You had to be here .... to experience .... create the memories .... Buying a sweatshirt at the UP Shop wont do it. One had be here ... earn it.

And thinking about it all, as precious as those memories are, probably many of those who have earned them, do not realize what they really have. But, from my perspective, I really do and in many ways, although now impossible, I wish I had stayed here also. And realizing this, and therefore a bit sad, tomorrow, when all this craziness is again put away till next year, not only the birds, squirrels, dogs, etc. will be happier, but so will I, as admittedly selfishly, and with a bit of envy. I do not really have the chance to enjoy this parade as intended anymore cause of that decision of so long ago.
xox Kaycee.
HAPPY 5th OF JULY - part 2 of 3
Posted:Jul 5, 2019 5:29 pm
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2019 9:51 am

... and that moment announcing yet another 4th of July parade, also interruped my observation as to the apparent youthfulness of this crowd. I mean I live in an older town and community so what was it? OK, some of my first hand illusion was cause it was a parade .... for and for many of them, by necessity, their Parents and Grandparents .... OK, and yes, the older neighborhood folk also. So, perhaps it was just that there are more people then I initially expected, perhaps cause of many of them visiting our older residents during a holiday without snow, etc. and most dressed in their colorful, casual best. But why for this parade?

I mean, these 4th of July parades really amount to a precious few bands and maybe a couple of homemade floats The balance of approximately up to 2 hours are police cars, fire trucks, local government officials, pickup trucks, tractors, old cars, and delays. From parades I have seen since leaving the UP so long ago, these UP 4th of July parades are, well .... superficially BORING! ... even if you also do throw in the multitude of adults throwing candy to .... or perhaps at the along the parade route. When contrasted with the likes of the Chicago St. Patrick Day or the SF Gay Pride parades, yes, our parade does pale in some respects. But no, these comparisons were not relevant. Finally, I did get it .... disregarding my cloak of pseudo sophistication, I had an epiphany .... of what this parade was really all about. Generally, it is sorta a celebration of growing up here in the UP.

As a the parade is not boring at all. Not only announcing the start of the 4th, with all its potential for fun all day long, it was the loud sirens that made you jump, the uniforms, cadence, and noise of the bands that made you jump also. It was collecting as much candy thrown as possible and perhaps even a glimpse of such things as last years teacher ... with a regular family, etc. And for the older , from sixteen to sixty or ninety, it was and is the memories of all that compounded each year and relishing a few classics retold and yes. embellished a bit each year. xox Kaycee.
HAPPY 5th OF JULY - part 1 of 3
Posted:Jul 5, 2019 4:32 pm
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2019 9:58 am

I was born here. Then about 5, I was whisked away down South as father got a new job. Thankfully, my Grandparents still lived here so every Summer I got to renew my old, perennial, best friends for more adventures. This continued thru to HS graduation and then a couple times while in for another 5 years at WIU with Charlie, (another story). After graduation, and armed with our degrees and more luck than sense, we left the Midwest and personally, the UP with my Grandparents, friends, and half a dozen relatives in the cemetery, for the West Coast, ostensibly to have fun for the rest of our lives. And so, approximately 25 years later, here I am ...... again.

Its the sorta early morning of The Fourth of July and up here, gazing from my bedroom window is part of the parade route and in the background, a park and finally the lake. For right now, all is quiet so going down to get some coffee as very soon as foretold by last years pageantry, the parade will begin ... the parade to the parade. I am back and the onslaught for premium viewing sites should begin any time now ... colorful, and with collective anticipation, snaking its way; a few older leading the way, then dogs pulling people, people pulling coolers, wagons, carts, and elders, (perhaps older ). Heralded by those few pubescent scouts, the psychedelic promenade is now beginning in earnest, mostly an array clothed in new duds, (like the 1st day of school), many carrying chairs or blankets and all now seeking space available or some friends to be with, or perhaps some foes to avoid too, all tempered with potential vantage points flavored with shade.

And now, punctuated with spontaneous glances up the street and alternating with glances at watches, there is a continual rustling of individual adjustments and mongo small groups of communication and finally ..... a collective pause and attention in concert with the first sound of it all .... the whistle and subsequent drums .....
xox Kaycee.
To Be Or Not To Be ..... and why and what Part 2 of 2
Posted:Jun 7, 2019 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2019 8:49 pm

The inherent problem with posting a "Page 1 of 2" entry is that you gotta follow through with a "Page 2 of 2", right? This will be the last of my "self" analysis for a while as even "" is getting tired of "". Getting down to specifics, depending upon one's point of view, shortcut slang, I could be considered a T-, Shemale, Chick with A Dick, etc. I don't really find this personally offensive ..... I have already implied a few times here that most of these terms also need a paragraph or so of qualifications/explanations to be precise as to one's meaning ....... perhaps, instead of a slur, it winds up to be complimentary after all.

Anyway, according to me, Pansexual, or, attracted to other than specific gender. Basically, for , way most important for is whoever/whatever makes feel. For instance, I am not attracted to "men" or even "". times, what gets my attention is "masculinity" ? a person, usually , man, to a degree, disposed to dominate, a predator, taker, voyeur, etc. ... for both of us to enjoy the dance and my surrender. Is this sorta kinky? But, you know, why should I even ask that .... I mean whatever, it is. Sometimes I need this .... so I date men ... and even a couple of female/women who were predisposed or just preferred to assume the role of dominating, etc. and recognized my potentially being receptive, I guess. Gender has not mattered.

Besides Pansexual for dating, I experienced a special relationship ... with someone pretty much like me. It became a symbiotic relationship, an understanding and appreciation ... a Girlfriend to Girlfriend give and take ... selfless sharing. Concerning labels, We discovered we were probably Translesbians, (we had to research that) and yes, we each did date men also on occasions as they did fill a need that we could not replace. We understood that also. When with a man, I feel we use each other, I want it and it's good. With my Girlfriend, we loved the journey with each other. This is all of "me" for awhile ... perhaps another subject soon. xox Kaycee
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To Be Or Not To Be ..... and why and what Part 1 of 2
Posted:Jun 6, 2019 3:42 pm
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2019 8:55 pm

And so, since my 1st posting here in my blog, I have sought to determine my "self" with a minimum of ambiguity. Well, until recently, I had, was comfortable with my role, my niche .... my life. Then stuff went south .... and my and I are now mongo miles away .... and off the edge of that earth. Yes, I think my and I are still relatively the same. But who/what was and is that? ..... this, so I understand as well as others .... so in touch with myself and then being able to communicate .... communication.

Actually, being labeled/considered socially/sexually Andro/femme helps a lot. In a way it helps to qualify if not sorta endorse my "self" as a valid "type" .... to then assess and assign for a value; for instance, my exceeding some gender/sexual boundaries are actually within my natural realm ... at least I can understand and consider it special ... and of course others will evaluate for themselves if whatever is positive or negative ....none of us appeals to everyone. On the other hand, the more insightful and sincere about each of us is, the better opportunity there is to find pleasure and satisfaction.
You know, that often spoken truth that we do not choose whatever about each of us ... I think our choice comes with self respect and to achieve happiness ....

So I stirred my "self" up and watched what floated to the surface, Generally, feminine, but not really effeminate, nor masculine really either. I don't belong to that tribe at all. The perceived hypocrisy here is that well, I sorta act "" socially/publicly. My answer is that since 5th I have been told that one should behave in public and enjoy being themselves in private ... to negotiate in public but my personal life is private, my own as long as it harms no one else. In subscribing to this, I play the role publicly as I have had the most practice with it and it does not interfere with my personal life much all There are exceptions of course and one of them is advertising myself in a dating site. But that is the reason for it's being ... to let others know, in a sorta comfortable, gracious way, some of our personal aspects, who/what we are, what we offer and what we desire/need. Guess we are all on stage ... but then the assumption is that our collective audience is at least tolerant ... and those just passing through for "entertainment" must not know themselves if they're "entertained" .... but that's all.
xox Kaycee

TomboyTgirl68 ...... It's All In My Name
Posted:May 24, 2019 7:18 pm
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2019 9:32 pm

Hi, Kaycee ...and this is the first of my Blog, my proverbial pasture to graze in, my garden of flowers & weeds. And speaking of , per above for anyone interested, my conception was/is as follows:

"Tomboy" is a with some boyish tendencies times. And "Tgirl" .... well all of us
have an idea of who and what she is, pretty sure And "68" ..... why is only
one from the fun well maybe, but in this case it is the of my birth.

Anyway, in deciding on a name, the above, when put together, is sorta me also. And is going to be the subject of my first commentary ..... especially since it is Saturday night and here i , "blog'n" along, right? What i mean is just like unlocking the mystery of "TomboyTgirl68", when trying to express who I was on the first part of my Profile, I ran into terms we all know but with meanings are not precise all. And every time I step into subjects using those terms by reading or commenting about some issue with those 'psycho-sexual' terms, I feel incumbent upon to check out the latest postings in the Urban Dictionary, etc. to see if I understanding or saying what I really mean. And the irony here is the terms are supposed to be shortcuts but really lots of accompanying explanation in an attempt to feel good in nailing down the meaning of whatever for most of us.

Those damn terms, like Ts, Tg, sexual identity, social role, etc etc and they remind me of a wonderful experience way back when I was on campus. During one quarter I was taking one course labelled "Intelligence" and another labelled "Creativity". These were courses I had to take for my major and the books cost much more than I wanted to spend. Anyway, after finishing the quarter and reflecting about the coursed, I realized essentially, intelligence was measured by the degree of creativity and visa versa just like all those terms. I know the problem is there are mongo variations but
means I have to think more about who & what I for Blog 2. xox Kaycee

To link to this blog (tomboytgirl68) use [blog tomboytgirl68] in your messages.

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
HAPPY 5th OF JULY - part 3 of 3. (3)gettincocksME
Jul 7, 2019 11:11 am
To Be Or Not To Be ..... and why and what Part 2 of 2 (2)HAMONMAN
Jun 7, 2019 6:35 pm