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OkCupid Sex question answer and explanation 7
Posted:Dec 15, 2018 1:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 21, 2019 4:56 pm
Q: Do you enjoy giving oral sex?
A: Love it!

Explanation: A woman's intimate flower is so incredibly beautiful. I also greatly enjoy the close, intimate sort of "flash to bang" responses. Utterly delicious!

I have found that giving this way, even if I was kneeling and you standing, does not, in any way, create a subservient mindset for me. You might have your hands tied over your head for one thing, but even if not... it just doesn't take on that type of vibe in my experience. I'm have found that I am as in charge as ever when I'm enjoying cunnilingus in any position. With most women, great oral is utterly potent, in that it gives me a very strong sense of power over her.

So, picture these possibilities:
-You're standing, I'm kneeling.. maybe with hands over your head or not, maybe tied behind your back or not, maybe a leg over my broad shoulders or not, probably my strong hands on your hips though.
- i'm on my back and i have you hold the headboard and kneel over my face. this could be considered a femdom position, but lol... it won't be with me! i can stroke your body and enjoy kneading your breasts while my mouth is making your legs shake (you will need to hold that headboard)
-You are on your back and your legs are over my shoulders because I was just pounding you pretty forcefully, but to take a break from that, I kneel, grab your ass and lift your sex up to my mouth... this sort of upends you for a while, but maybe the blood rushing to your head enhances the "O" that is coming, idk.
-You are on your back, legs splayed open and I'm kneeling on the floor for a more comfortable angle. or I'm on the bed next to you and bend down sideways to you. My tongue can go sideways across your clit or up and down, being attentive not to overstimulate your clit by direct contact.
-In any position, using more of a kissing/sucking motion rather than the tongue flicks you see in porn.
-Fingers will be integrated to amp up the stimulation and my long fingers know a variety of ways to build your arousal. Sometimes fingers will precede the mouth in the early stages of teasing touching that gradually get closer, stroking your upper thighs, buttocks, and around your vulva, then ever so lightly, maybe over the top of your panties at first slowly stroking your labia, then dipping a digit in where your molten wetness is gathering, and dragging that slickness up over the outside of your lips, and up around your clit. Then after my mouth arrives at your sex, since it was probably thoroughly enjoying your breasts and hot kissing while my fingers were at work, the fingers begin to penetrate to explore you vaginally and possibly anally. -Nothing wrong with adding toys into the fray as well. If we are in one of the latter rounds of sex in an extended session, then toys are great additions.
-Maybe one way really works best or the variety is good. sometimes the legs get pushed back or tied back.. this position really presents your wet, engorged sex to me in all it's erotic glory for my oral plundering of every intimate place. best for those moments when you have really let go and are fully into your surrender to me.
-You are bend over... maybe tied that way or not. your back arched and your sex is mine to ravish from behind. I might have you standing and bent way over... like shoulders down on a chair or just grabbing your ankles.

All of that is just scratching the surface of the ways to have fun with my mouth.
OkCupid Sex question answer and explanation 6
Posted:Dec 15, 2018 1:01 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2018 1:18 pm
Q: Is foreplay necessary for good sex?
A: Yes

Normally, foreplay is important for women and part of what i enjoy most about sex... the build up- the teasing rise in tension and fever, the anticipation, and then the achingly slow unfolding and the "ahhh" moments of dalliance, where you relish each bit of skin and each gasp or groan or twitch - absorbing the overwhelming beauty of it in more manageable bite-sized pieces.

-not that it has to always be "fore" as in "before" of course. a woman's body is a marvelous orchestra with many parts that can be made to create very sensual music. for those that really love sex and when the chemistry is very strong... you can easily just go on and on. cumming does not have to stop the show; you just change methods- hands and mouth or just cuddling, caressing, talking while the body recovers. i would not have thought it possible except that it has happened numerous times in the last decade. obviously, it's not like that every night, but on special weekends or vacations... 3 hours, 6 hours, all night- you basically lose track of time in the swirl of it.

A suddenly sexual experience can also be very exciting, but usually even then, there is some type of mental foreplay -- fantasizing, teasing, or suggestion -- that occurred before fully igniting those fires. Several of my favorite moments were sudden- coming in the door after being out together, and i had to have her right in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, or dining room, or on the side of the car. I think when a woman knows that she had that sort of maddening effect on me it can cause her to be "ready" very quickly. it's really a chemistry thing when it's like that. i know a lot of women enjoy the thought that their allure is so powerful that it can induce that immediate, drop-everything, sort of violently urgent hunger in a man. at least the type of woman i enjoy most is like that. She really appreciates and enjoys experiencing the way she gets under my skin.

One of my favorite things is that first thrust. after i have "warmed her up" to the point where she is really feeling the achey need to be filled and stretched, and she's breathless and desperate, wet and pulsating, begging me to be inside her... then that first thrust, where I am just slowly but inexorably pushing to her deepest spots- it is a moment that can't help but elicit the deepest guttural primal moans from both of us. mmmm!
especially if we have a lot of previous sessions where she knows in her body what is coming and how it is going to feel, those "body memories" intensify the build-up and anticipation even more.
OkCupid Sex question answer and explanation 5
Posted:Dec 15, 2018 12:57 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2018 1:42 pm
Note: There is an earlier version of this Q&A that I posted a few years ago during a previous time I was subscribed to It was my first blog posting which you can scroll down to see. I update my okcupid answer explanations periodically, so this is similar but not exactly the same.

Q: How open are you to trying new things in bed?
A: Very open. I'll try anything once.

Explanation: The answer choices on this question are very vague. I'm very open, but that doesn't mean I like everything because there is really a diverse world of sexual behavior out there, so I thought, "why not make a list and specify what I mean by "very open?"
I enjoy variety. For some, my list of things I like is possibly just boring "vanilla," but for others it's beyond what they have tasted; for me... it's what I've learned that I enjoy. It would be my preference to find a long-term partner who enjoyed all of these things and also happened to be a great companion, but I'll accept what life offers in the meantime. A few things on the list are not mandatory, in so far as my enjoyment goes. I like to find in a woman an open sex positive attitude with a feminine inclination toward submissiveness. You might find yourself loving most of the things, intrigued by some, secretly fantasizing about other things, or maybe scared but still curious. I’m always up for talking about your response to reading this and imagining exploring.

Here is a short list of stuff I like:
- a lot of touching to wake up your nerve endings and so I can "see" your beautiful shape better. Pads of fingertips and nails are good. Always good to vary the intensity of the touch from feather light to rougher.
- lots of hot kissing throughout- like in the middle of feasting orally, just come up and kiss for a while. It’s a bit random where the kissing will be extra incredible. Idk why that is.
- sometimes talking can be very hot. My theory is it can add more brain-pathways to describe what is being experienced, but I also like the additional feedback. Sharing fantasies or creating one together can be really fun,… and very arousing. Fantasies are wide open too. Some women get off on imagining another woman joining us, others on having another man. Either way it is fun to imagine together.
- experimenting with a variety of positions and discovering favorites or favorite tweaks to the staples. Every couple is unique in the way their skeletal geometry meshes together. Sometimes, the fit is extra amazing and everything has a “just right” feel to it. There are about a dozen variations on taking a woman from behind and they are all lovely. Then I like to pin her knees back and tilt her ass up when she is ready for deep, plunging strokes. There are a couple side positions l like too. Having her on top different ways is a must as well.
- being creative with different locations, indoors and out, and with all kinds of furniture is fun. Two minds focused on having fun can come up with new things. You will never look at your dining room table the same way again!
- whether it is positions, massaging, using my fingers or tongue, discovering a woman’s erotic idiosyncrasies is fun. Every woman is wonderfully unique and I really like to make friends with all parts of her. I like to start by asking, maybe watching her touch herself, listening to the way she does things. Then I start there and improvise creatively, following my instincts and watching her reactions.
- a-spot and g-spot play… squirting is fun to induce and sometimes results from the right kind of touching, but I will be careful not to pressure the woman about it. If it happens, it happens, since I’m not convinced every woman can. Those who can’t squirt are not really missing out that much. It’s just a different sensation. I should add that there is a lot to discover inside a woman’s vagina… some love their AE spot touched, others enjoy the cervix being stroked, some don’t like that at stuff all.
- oral – giving and receiving… receiving oral has nice elements to it, but is not as satisfying to me and deep, hard penetration… especially if I’m hitting your spots just right. Giving oral is an absolute favorite though and I enjoy this without ever it ever bein subservient. I enjoy the beauty of those parts of your body, the intimacy of it, and the power.
- light bondage and blindfolds… maybe earplugs in certain circumstances. Generally, there is already a power dynamic between us where I am leading the scene, even if I relinquish that lead role, I’m still giving the power over. Restraints can enhance that dynamic. I don’t think I would enjoy only doing bondage or having that be the only thing we did together, but I like it as variety. It might be as simple as putting you on your knees with your wrists bound and a blindfold wearing nothing but the blindfold then having you enjoy giving me oral pleasure. Or having you laying across my lap, head on my shoulder, legs open blindfolded again, wrists bound, while I use my fingers on you - touching you intimately in various ways. The blindfold enhances your other senses and the restraints increases your ability to let go and allow your body to react.
- spanking… again, not essential to have, but enjoyable variety. I am an ass lover and enjoy it when my partner also has a sensitive ass and enjoys having it touched in different ways. This can be a discipline/power thing of course, but some women gain a release from it, or the right kind of pain can induce a type of sub-space high. Spanking a clit at the right moment can be good too.
- anal… when done right is not dirty or painful, though there are practical considerations. It’s usually a gradual process for a woman to become able to receive various types of anal sex pleasurably. Often times, I enjoy touching a woman there, while I am penetrating her. Toys can be fun for that too. Afterward, we need to clean up, so this can be fun for a finale. I have a set of toys specifically designed to train your body to enjoy this type of pleasure.
- toys… fun to add for variety. Ask me what I would do to you with a suction cup dildo
- wetness… no, not golden showers, but usually there ends up being a lot of wetness and slipperiness ensues. Your natural lube, our perspiration, my cum, maybe your cum… things often get messy.
- erotica… occasionally, reading stories or watching better quality video can be arousing, or a way to get some ideas.
- food.. have only done this a little bit, but it’s all about stimulating and enjoying the senses.
- lighting… I like candles or a fireplace at night, but natural afternoon or morning light can also be erotic and romantic. Stark lighting, no. Sometimes total darkness can be like wearing blindfolds in the way it enhances the other senses.
- other mood setters, I haven’t done music and incense a lot, but those can be good as long as they are mood-setters not distractions.
- teasing… there are all kinds of teasing that I like to do all along the sexual connection spectrum. Verbal teasing, and teasing, suggestive touching during the day or on a date (especially after we have totally gone there). Once I’m really established with a woman, I might greet her with an embrace and a kiss that includes a deft hand down her jeans or into her yoga pants for just a quick teasing touch on her clit. These things help create that sense of anticipation so that her imagination and delicious memories kick in and heighten her arousal. Then, there is teasing that can be just touching in a certain way, avoiding certain spots, or coming near those spots slowly… etc. After that, there is the teasing of orgasm control or orgasm denial as a way to make it become very intense. Take you close, back off, take you close, back off, maybe take you really close, but forbid you to cum… I’ll play it by ear.
- danger of exposure… I haven’t done this too much. Given my age and professional life, it doesn’t appeal as much to me to risk arrest or public censure. However, outdoors in discrete locations is fun. Some dressing rooms are fun. I typically go in a dressing room with a woman anyway. The office after hours? Yes, that was hot, and yet it was relatively low risk. Some teasing, arousing discreet but intimate touching in a dark bar or restaurant can be fun too. Have done the bathroom stall thing too and it was very hot and playful, but there are ways to reduce the risk.
- role-play… have only lightly dabbled in this, but with the right person, once we are really established, it could be fun variety, especially if it was done in a semi-public way like a bar. Pretending to have serendipitous encounters could be hot as long as the acting was real. Playing at non-consent could work too, but would have to be talked through plainly.
- pain… will give it within reason if a woman wants to explore that. Sorta goes along with spanking, which I have enjoyed.
- tantra… like the concept and would enjoy learning more with a partner. I like to edge my own orgasms to make a session last longer. The concepts in tantra, like the energy flow and chakras, are the same as in yoga. Dated a very cute yoga instructor for a while, a few years back, and she confessed that yoga "put her in the mood." This, of course, produced a smile on my face since she was already giving me individual lessons. When she stayed at my house, we had morning sex when we woke up, had a yoga workout, ate breakfast, then had more sex, showered, and then started our day.
OkCupid Sex question answer and explanation 4
Posted:Dec 10, 2018 2:16 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2018 1:45 pm
Q: Imagine you are having sex with a partner, who begins to give you specific instructions on how to best provide satisfaction. Assuming there is no danger, would you follow these instructions?
A: Yes. I would be grateful for the communication.

Every woman is different in the various ways she is best pleasured or in the places on her body which provide the most pleasure. I like when a woman has a good idea of her sexual idiosyncrasies and she is uninhibited about frankly and clearly discussing herself. If a woman is not a veteran practitioner of self-pleasure, I encourage her to become one. A less experienced woman is also welcome because we can discover and explore together as well. Check out for more.

I have a very powerful sexual computer resting on my shoulders, the more information I get from communication, observation, and experimentation, the better I can synthesize this to guide us to create a mind-blowing experience for both of us.

I should mention that the basic dominant, in-charge aspect doesn't change if you are giving me helpful information. The verb "follow instructions" might sound slightly less dominant to some, but that is just semantics- maybe "receiving and utilizing" information would be clearer. The thing is...I am definitely getting off throughout the process, and while I know a lot, and am very present and focused so that I am picking up on a lot of what is happening with my partner's body, I am not a mind-reader. Well, not a perfect one anyway.
OkCupid Sex question answer and explanation 3
Posted:Dec 10, 2018 2:11 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2018 1:28 pm
Q: Could you have respect for someone after having sex with them on the first meeting/date?
A: Yes

The notion that a woman can determine my respect for her by how long she makes me wait for sex is really a misconception – a fossilized idea rooted in shame about sexuality. I am always going to be a gentleman, but my respect will be based on you as a person – especially on how you interact with me. If you come off like a rude haughty bitch in person, I’ll be polite but firmly send you on your way. On the other hand, if you show me your intelligence, maturity, and humor, and the sizzling chemistry leads naturally to great sex, losing respect will be the last thing to happen.

The timing of crossing the sex-line with someone can change the dynamics in a relationship. So I’m not saying that waiting longer is bad thing. Nothing is better than bringing the anticipation to a full boil before taking the plunge.

I have, incidentally, had relationships where the sex began the first night or the next day, and I have had relationships where I waited over a month, sometimes several months, but the respect in the relationship was never the result of how long.

There is something to be said for wanting to really know someone because you want sex to occur in that context. However, it’s also true that no matter what, your knowing of someone always evolves, and that sometimes with a good match, there is a feeling of “getting someone” in a profound way.

You should trust your intuition. In my life, I wish I had trusted my intuition more, not less.
OkCupid Sex question answer and explanation 2
Posted:Dec 10, 2018 1:37 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2018 1:30 pm
Q: Imagine that your partner does not enjoy performing oral sex and refuses to ever perform it on you. How disappointed would you be?
A: Extremely disappointed.
I enjoy when a woman pleases me this way, especially when it is an expression of your submissiveness. The view is amazing, and if you can learn to relax your throat to accept my length and girth, that feels incredible. Some women enjoy being taken forcefully this way, and I am happy to let my passion and lust take over.

Just so you know, I REALLY enjoy giving a woman pleasure with my mouth and would be seriously bummed if she didn't want to receive this kind of attention. Many women may not be able to comprehend how beautiful these intimate parts of their body are to a man like me. I like to be that close to her and have my mouth on her "erotic pulse." The immediate "flash-to-bang" from what I am doing to her is very exciting. When there is time, I like to build up in a slow teasing approach awakening nerves in the areas around your cunt, thighs, tummy, ass, and use my fingers as well as some toys.

Once I've entered your vagina with my long fingers, expect some exploration that will feel very good as I start to refine my knowledge of your sensitive areas. Every woman is slightly different with her anatomy and with how she is "wired" to her anatomy, and I enjoy the process of exploration and discoveries that follow. Don't be surprised if we find things about your pleasure map that you didn't know about hitherto.

OkCupid Sex question answer and explanation 1
Posted:Dec 10, 2018 1:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2018 1:37 pm
Q: Would you date someone purely on the fact that they were well endowed?
A: No
My answer refers to breast size with a woman, and I find that I am attracted to all sizes of breasts. The answer for you refers to the thickness and length of my cock. You might be able to notice this when we meet if I'm wearing jeans.

I have heard many women mention having rather disappointingly mild to bad sex with lovers packing the XXL sized cocks (8-10"). What I have heard is that the XXL-sized guy tends to think his size alone makes him a great lover.

While my size is larger than average, I do not rely on it as my only asset as a lover. These are the qualities I believe can help: self-control, imagination, patience, confidence, good hands with an almost artistically intuitive "touch," self-awareness of my own body, creativity, focus, basic knowledge of female physiology and feminine emotional tendencies, being in charge, having the initiative, perceptional clarity and empathy, and possessing a deeply ingrained fascination and attraction to the feminine and feminine beauty.

The average size for a man is supposedly about 5" to 5 1/2". I haven't verified this personally, but I'm between 7 and 8, and I haven't been with a woman yet who didn't have to adjust a little bit to take it all.

However, I never just rely on my size... I view your body as my orchestra and myself as the the maestro, and my goal is using those marvelous sensual aspects of your body to create a mind-blowing experience for both of us.

At the same time, in a seeming paradox, I'm being totally male: I'm taking you and "using you" for my pleasure, but my pleasure is so much derived from how I gain mastery over you with my art and my force put together, as it is from the sensations I'm taking in through my own nerve endings. It can be scary if you don't know or trust me. I can tell when I've done well if I hear the gushing exclamations of sincere gratitude afterward. I don't see mere orgasms as the goal, though they are fun, rather I seek to make the overall experience very wowwing for you- transcendent even.
this summer
Posted:Oct 10, 2018 4:09 pm
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2019 4:02 pm
I am open to a range of possible connections. By that I mean, I would enjoy an NSA FWB type of relationship or fling, or more serious.

This summer, my profile on okcupid caught the attention of a woman in Bend, Oregon. We started chatting, then talking on the phone, and when we realized we had a small window to meet and play, I flew out to spend 5 days with her.

It is a little risky to do something like that. I mean what if we didn't get along in person? What if it was all awkward?

Anyway, the in-person part turned out to be simply a natural extension of our delightful and sexy phone conversations. I was playing with her pussy in the airport parking lot, and then spanking her bare ass within minutes of entering her home. Then we fucked, or rather I ate her, she sucked me, and I made her cum, over and over and over, very loudly and very intensely. I am not exaggerating, if anything this description is an understatement.

She, before this summer, had only had one orgasm during sex in her life. It was on her wedding night with her second husband. On our first night, we weren't counting, but conservatively she came over 10 times. Easily over ten.

It got better each day. I don't know how many times I came. Maybe 6 times a day? Maybe 10. It all blurs together now. Each day and night was filled with sex, but also very good, very smooth and easy connecting. We did more than just have sex. I helped her with the chores on her ranch, went with her to the office (no hanky panky there!), went with her to monitor the photography of a client's home (she did real estate), had dinner out, had dinner with her friends, etc. But in between all that, we had all kinds of sex. It was fun and light and yet also very intense,.. primal even. My vibe, whatever you want to call it, clicked with her, tapping into something inside her that she had only partially noticed in herself, prior to that moment. There would be this sound she made, after a good bit of wonderful moaning and crying out in the earlier orgasms, that sounded like howling, as she seemed to transition into a more intense follow-on orgasm. That was when I was working her the most fiercely, being very forceful, and getting into her deepest places.

My hands and mouth don't ever need to recover so after I would come, my hands and mouth would come into play to keep her cumming and cumming. We watched some movies together, naked, of course, and I would just play with her pussy while we watched. It was somewhat whimsical that I would keep her aroused, and then just decide she was going to cum again, and I would change my "handiwork" to make her cum, and she would have her knees up, legs back, open to me, and my fingers working her gspot and aspot until she came. Some of those times, she came so intensely she said she felt "sprinkles on her feet." lol.. That's just what she said. It was pretty believable given how loudly she was making noise.

I am not going to say that I can guarantee those kinds of orgasms with every woman. Chemistry obviously plays a big role. I know what I am doing. I have a dominant vibe, but I'm not crazy into kink. My cock is not monster sized, at 7 1/2 inches, but it is big enough to stretch every woman I have ever been with and be able to get up in there near your cervix to hit your A-spot. Not that I rely on size. I know a lot of things to do with my mouth and fingers and love to discover each woman's unique pleasure zones and sexual-psyche mapping.

Good sex to me is not very quiet or mild. It is not neat and clean. It is breathless, sweaty, wet, messy, loud, and builds to an intensely kinetic passionate release- over and over. It is often not done in bed... I like using furniture creatively- sofa, coffee table, kitchen counter, ottoman, and various chairs are all great for finding different ways to take you.

I am confidant in my abilities and intuitive sense of a woman. I love to basically take control of a woman's body and soul and create a mutually enjoyable transcendent pleasurable experience for both of us. Spanking is often a part of what I do. Blindfolds are a favorite tool to intensify your sensory experience and to exaggerate your feeling of surrendering. Occasionally some restraints can be part of the fun.

In the case of my friend out west, we concluded a few months back into our normal lives that, as magic as it was, the distance made it impractical to continue, and we parted ways in peace. Sometimes, it happens like that.

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