Why I haven't been on in a while...  

whoisagentj 48M
198 posts
12/7/2018 7:30 am

Last Read:
12/10/2018 9:20 am

Why I haven't been on in a while...

Well, I said I was going to post more stuff, but unfortunately, real life strikes again.

On the good news front...

Work has been all encompassing, and it took a turn for the better. In November, my boss informed me that a position had opened up in the books for an employee spot, and they were able to bring me on into the company as a full time employee. And that means, full benefits, better , vacation/sick days, and things are going to be a lot better for me. So while that's good news...why I not excited about it?

Well, I , but recently I got some terrible news from our family.

My mom has colon-intestinal cancer. This now makes it the third time she's had cancer in her life. That hit me like a brick in the face. To make matters worse, she's going to be having the surgery around Christmas time and will most likely be in the hospital during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I had to tell my sisters the news. Out of me 3 sisters, two of them took it hard and were to do whatever they could to help. However, one of my sisters, I'll be honest, I have no clue what the fuck is going on in her head. Its like she almost couldn't be bothered with the news and it seemed she didn't care. It was like she's completely disconnected. It made me so mad, it infuriated me. I swear I have no clue what the fuck is going on in her head.

The worst though was telling my kids and my ex-wife. My daughter completely lost it and started to cry on the phone and my son ran from the room in tears. What's worse was to tell them that our normal family Christmas party would be cancelled and the kids look forward to it every single year. Not for the presents, but it allows them to have some freedom and relax and enjoy the holidays, because my ex-wife's side of the family are, to put it bluntly a bit odd and some of them are emotionally disconnected. Like my sister.

Needless to say, things have gone and flipped upside down in my house. My dad has been taking my mom to doctor appointments and tests so that they can evaluate my mom's cancer. She goes in for a CT scan next week to determine how bad the cancer really is. So far they only found a small polyp in her large intestine/colon area and they hope its been contained. But I honestly do not know how bad it is, and we won't know fully until she has the CT scan.

To make matters worse, my health is not so great either. I've dealt with an ever increasing progressive pain in my joints, and I think developing arthritis. On a pain level from 1 to 10, with 10 being crippling pain, on a constant 3-4 level all of the time. hoping I will get my medical cards soon from my work insurance. But for right now, until they come, I can't go to the doctor just yet.

Finally my SAD/Seasonal Affective Disorder is just starting to ramp up. Its been difficult to deal with, but I try to stem it off by staying in highly lit areas (bright light helps deal with the disorder), taking baths, and getting plenty of sleep.

In short, its going to be a really crappy Christmas season. While some things have been good, a lot has really hit home. doing what I can to stay strong. But really, I could honestly use someone to give me a great big hug right now. I feel like I've been putting on a front for my whole family, trying to stay strong for all of them, when I feel like the one falling apart.

Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...


tresennui 64F  
2269 posts
12/7/2018 5:13 pm

Sorry to hear about your mom. Cancer is scary. Until you get the scan results and know the treatment options you are most likely thinking about the worse case scenario.

It wasn’t cancer, but my daughter in her 20’s had severe colitis and had her entire colon removed. They created what they call a j-pouch from her small intestine so she functions relatively normally. Surgeries were not much fun. It was in two steps, the first gave her a colostomy bag for a few months before the surgery to put her all together. If anything could go wrong it did for her. Everything became infected. She recovered and went back to her life before surgery. Unfortunately, she had a perforation in her intestine, for no known reason, a few years later and became severely ill and they had to open her up again, the bag for about 7 months before they could reconnect everything. It’s 7 years later, her stomach never feels great, but she eats everything (takes diarrhea meds), doesn’t stop her from doing much of anything she is very active..daily yoga and her job is coaching a sports team, which she works out with.

So before you panic completely...find out the details.

BTW another daughter turned 40 last year and was diagnosed with breast cancer. After chemo, surgery and radiation has tested to be cancer free. She also is an instructor of a yoga type of workout.

Damn insurance issues! Sucks to have to wait for care until we have coverage, or don’t have any at all.

Succumbing to Curiosity...read me at tresennui

whoisagentj replies on 12/10/2018 9:20 am:
Thank you tres! Yeah, things are sort of on hold at the moment. My mom is waiting for get the CT done so they can figure out how bad it really is.

I'm hanging on at the moment and trying to spend my time with my mom as much as I can.

Naughtypursuit 51F  
1566 posts
12/7/2018 4:56 pm

Sorry about your Mom, difficult time. A lesson to cherish your family while you can. Try a Tens machine for the pain... they are much cheaper then medications or doctors/physio etc...and it has worked wonders for me.

whoisagentj replies on 12/10/2018 9:17 am:
I'll look into it. Thank you for the advice. I'm hoping as soon as I can get my new med card from work, I'll check into it as well.

luvgluv19 70M  
2383 posts
12/7/2018 10:41 am

THAT! Is busy

whoisagentj replies on 12/7/2018 11:01 am:
I wish it wasn't like this being so busy. I'd take quiet in a heartbeat over this.

matutum50 68M
32 posts
12/7/2018 8:12 am

I had hep C and colon cancer at the same time, the doctors and I killed it- now I have melanoma- I also take essaic tea- called Ojibway Tea of Life, kill cancer, I take the tea with 4 herbs only- the cancer thing started in 2005 and with the tea I'm still kicking, think positive-

whoisagentj replies on 12/7/2018 10:54 am:
I'll have to look into that for my mom. I'll get back to you on this and let you know how it goes.

dpprasaddpp 22M
47 posts
12/7/2018 7:55 am

Nice one , Why I haven39t been on in a while

whoisagentj replies on 12/7/2018 11:00 am:
Huh? Are you mental? Other than me getting hired permanently on with my company, how is this NICE?

bitchkitty2017 66F  
1669 posts
12/7/2018 7:48 am

sorry to hear about your Mom and at the same time glad you have better working conditions and benefits..I know what family can do..they can tear you down or bulid you up ..some members are cold hearted and there is nothing you can do but walk away from them..wish I had time to tell you what I went through but you have enough on your plate and I do wish you and your family all the best..keep positive as possible and stress free as possible it helps the one who is sick....keep on , keeping on....

whoisagentj replies on 12/7/2018 7:53 am:
Thank you BK. To be honest, I posted it because I had to vent that out, as I was debating on sharing this. Posting it and writing it out...was a bit therapeutic for me so I could let go of what I've been holding inside.

Thank for posting and sharing. It's much appreciated!

whoisagentj 48M
5424 posts
12/7/2018 7:30 am

I'm so tired....

Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...


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