People say HE is actually a SHE or perhaps an IT. All I know is THEY weren't listening to one fucking thing I said. And in retrospect, thank goodness. I made some pretty absurd and incredible promises to GOD last night.
Yesterday I went in for day surgery: nerves in my left elbow.
I am not a regular in hospitals, so it was all new to me. I figured they'd put me under, I'd wake up, and things would be fine.
What happened next was a solid six hours of my worst existence on this planet... so far.
Forget your sharp, stabbing, burning, aching, tingling, throbbing, shooting.
THOSE are for amateurs.
I had met the "King" :
FUCKING CRAZY INSANE PAIN.
It was an all-encompassing assault. My nerves threw a tantrum after being fucked with. Then someone had plugged my arm into a rotating grid of all seven pain categories... and hit "loop."
Did I hear some say, "Why didntcha take the pills they prescribed?"
I'll get back to you.
With little sleep the previous night, my body was pleading with me. So, I opened negotiations with low-density cliche.
"Lord” If you give me an hour's sleep, I promise I will... clean up the guest room."
But things quickly got out of control, as all the freezing wore off. I could no longer think clearly for longer than five seconds at a time. Bed. PC. TV. Pacing. Lights on. Chaos, eveywhere.
Negotiations escalated.
"Lord” Stop this pain, and I'll do whatever the FUCK you want."
I finally stepped into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle.
"Two every six," and designed to work fast. I distinctly recall only taking ONE when I first opened that cap. I'm sure what's written is suggestions, NOT rules. I would improvise and triple that dose.
OH... MY... GOD...
It's irresponsible to advocate, BUT the first five letters were: h,y,d,r,o. The last were p,h,i,n,e. And m,o,r were in the middle.
Amazed, ecstatic, jubilant were just some of the adjectives that surfaced... a mere ten minutes later.
I have no idea if I last spoke with someone UP there or DOWN below. But there's no fucking way I can keep any of the promises I made.
I'll have to renegotiate.
And seriously?
Bless the bottle that ended MY nightmare.
... this is probably what my doctor looks like without her stethoscope ...
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17 comments
Glad the meds worked for you Paul, and hope you're on the mend now, cos have missed you around! Seriously though, hope all is fine, and no more pain?
Yay for modern medicine. ðŸ‘
We've all probably acquired niggling splinters... over the years. 😂
It really does put a mirror up to that whole foxhole mentality.
This often springs to mind in those desperate moments....
Before meds, people just suffered in silence until... 😶
Perhaps I've lingered on this "pain" thing long enough.
Let's move on to happier things.🤗
Hi Paul!
I’ve missed seeing you around here in the Community: welcome back!
I can well imagine how painful elbow nerve trouble can be; a close friend of mine went through something quite similar a few years ago, and it was no joke at all.
As for me, the worst pain I’ve ever experienced was three years ago, when I tripped in my own kitchen, fell badly, and fractured my pelvis. The doctors decided to let the fracture heal naturally: no brace, no harness, nothing… just strict bed rest. And to make sure I didn’t move and reopen the fracture, they refused to give me any “strong†painkillers… only paracetamol!
It was the most horrible month and a half of my life. I suffered terribly, and my husband, watching me suffer and feeling completely helpless, suffered just as much as I did. I lost a lot of weight… but my poor husband lost ten kilos!
So yes… pain leaves its mark on everyone around us too.
In any case, it’s really good to have you back.
A kiss,
Aura
It's nice to see you.
I'm not really back... more like, visiting with friends. 🤗
I was shutting my eyes throughout your whole description. Eee...😲
When I see someone in a lot of pain, I begin to feel it.😕
@Paulxx001 I am not in pain now... no, no, I am not
Well, bless your heart. I am facing knee surgery. May have to rethink that now. And after all that you can still focus on a coochie. You men. ðŸ’ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸ðŸ™„
Those pills helped.
We men have small and shallow minds.😲
BB #3 had a huge head and I had no meds. The great relief was when he was finally out. I think I closed my eyes, mumbling Thank you Lord over and over.
Hugs!
We have a tendency to call HIS name in times like those.ðŸ˜
I'm always amazed when HE answers, considering how busy HE must be.🤗
I hate to tell say that I had bone shaved off with shoulder surgery...with zero pain. It was amazing. Nerve block and an ice water sleeve worked miracles. By the time the block wore off, there was no pain to be had.
Now, let's talk child birth back labor. Both of my kids. Holy moly. Then there was the rectocele repair of my southern region from damage that occurred during one of said births. But the back labor wins, I think. No bargains with the big man though. We all know I'd not keep those promises. I think you're fine; I imagine he understands duress. Super glad you found a way to the other side of the pain.
Kiss it and make it all better just in case?
I will imagine the pain you felt and grimace.😲
Yeah... I can barely imagine that "childbirth" pain.ðŸ˜
But I am a fan of the process leading up to it.🤗
I think I had a similar feeling of relief when I was in the emergency room with a gall bladder attack and they put me on some kind of IV drip. No idea what it was, but it was powerful! Aaaaaaaah.
As I aluded to below...
I now have a better understanding of movies where the massively injured — after receipt — had calm smiles painted on their faces.
There are some meds out there that serve a major league purpose.
I know and understand the smile that must have framed your relief.🤗
I haven't met my match ... yet. And I'm okay with that. I don't need to take every test that life can dish out.
Thanks for explaining that strange noise I heard the other night. It was HE/SHE/IT/THEY laughing their heavenly butts off!
I don't wish my pain on anyone. It was... rough/
And good for you.
Ya heard it too? 😂ðŸ‘
BEAUTIFUL PUSSY!!!!! ðŸ˜ðŸ”¥ðŸ¤©ðŸ¥°ðŸ˜œðŸ˜‹ðŸ‘…👅👅🤤🤤🤤🤤
Won't disagree.🔥
I can honestly say, that nightmare — with my arm — has to have been the worst pain I've ever felt. Although I have experienced steady brain-numbing pain for longer periods of time.
I have deep empathy and sympathy for people in any sort of pain.