"You gamed the Dating System?" I had to whisper. Andrew was standing just ahead of us.
FrankeeZee and I were up on the second floor in the AFF Members' lounge, waiting in line at the sushi bar, when he proudly confessed.
"Listen, Paul. I figured it all out and optimized my Profile for guaranteed success."
"Say what?"
"It was simple: I reverse-engineered the AFF algorithm."
Our platter of Alaska, Philadelphia, and assorted other rolls sat on our trays as we made our way to the table by the window next to the fake palm trees. Far away from where Andrew sat.
I took a bite of my King Crab and asked Frankee the obvious. "How?"
Frankee unwrapped his chopsticks. "I data-mined ALL the top online dating apps and mapped a battery of the AFF questions against theirs."
"And?"
Frankee had a Dragon Roll dangling out of his mouth as he began. "And... I built my own dating algorithm."
"What the fuck are you talking about, Frankee? You don't know anything about statistics or programming."
"About as much as our mentor. Online courses and a lotta Google Gemini." He nodded, between mouthfuls. "I scraped data clusters for the likeliest hookup-producing words."
"Hookup-producing words?"
"Yeah. For example, women claim to value commitment and stability, but they SWIPE for danger and excitement. Sexy bad boys. You'd do well with your musical background, Paul. Ladies love drummers."
"That's true about drummers, but all the rest sounds like bullshit, Frankee."
"Not at all. I assigned numerical values to the onboarding AFF questions by tokenizing them in an embedding matrix and generated a predictive model for the most effective answers, which I then provided, without lying."
"Wow! OK, that's impressive."
Frankee was into his second Boston Roll as he continued. "I also identified misleading Profile photos as the top complaint against ALL dating apps. Women lie about weight and age. Men lie about height and age. So I adjusted my photo and smile accordingly."
FrankeeZee flashed me his Profile pic. His teeth were pristine white, and he seemed to be standing taller.
"That's fricken wild, Frankee. But I have a hard time believing you didn't lie."
"I didn't have to, Paul. That AFF question about love? Everyone knows it's simply a neurochemical process that takes place in the brain, and whether or not it's real is up for debate."
Frankee drizzled some soya sauce on his Nigiri and continued. "And we all know looking for a soulmate is a childish notion. After only one day with my NEW Profile, I had more than fifty inbox requests to meet. It's crazy."
"Why does all this sound like something I've seen in a movie, Frankee?"
"Oh, you have. I got the idea after watching The Accountant 2, with Ben Affleck. Great flick, by the way. But I didn't do all this for myself. I'm selling my formula online, on my website."
I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked.
"You're going to do what now?"
"I'm selling it, Paul. Gina and I have been a couple for years. I don't need a playdate. But a hundred bucks gives anyone every answer and tip they'll need to get laid... in under a week. And I have a female Profile perfected as well."
"You dripped some soya on your shirt, Frankee."
Frankee reached for a napkin. "So, Paul, can I put you down for the Deluxe Package? It includes a tube of Crest Whitener and cologne samples from Gucci and Polo. I've read your Profile, Paul: you could use all the fucking help you can get."
The waitress hovered over our table with a question.
I wasn't sure if I wanted a coffee, an aspirin, or both.
FrankeeZee ordered tea, then grinned at me. He had some green Shiso stuck in his teeth.
Andrew walked by with his empty tray and waved. We waved back.
... an AFF couple who found success...
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15 comments
Greetings, @Writa25
... and anyone else who needs help...
After reading about the recent tribulations regarding your failed posts (Here We Go Again.I), I thought I'd offer a suggestion and blogging tip that has always worked for me — without fail — in the eight years I've been here.
• Prepare your blog posts and use the "Release on" option. Click the GEAR icon to reveal this feature. It allows you to schedule a post up to one week in advance. Schedule your posts no sooner than three hours ahead of time, as that seems to be the minimum threshold.
• Add a note for site Support. In the comments section of your blog, add this note: "@ sitesupport: Please review and approve this post. Regards, Writa." Your message will invite tier-one live approval, as opposed to waiting in the lengthy algorithmic queue.
• Monitor your post. Your blog post should be approved within three hours. You will know it is approved when you see your profile image displayed on the right-hand side of the main blog page. You can make your blog go live at that point by simply changing the time.
• Nudge Support if needed. If your image does not show up within that three-hour window, nudge Support with a fresh message in the comments section of your post: "@ sitesupport... What is the delay in approving this post? If there are any issues, please advise. Regards, Writa."
Using "Release on," messaging Support, checking the right-hand side for your profile image, and nudging them if it's not visible works EVERY time.
Best of luck, and keep on smiling! 😀
Well, regarding women lying, or rather, embellishing things, it's true that age and weight are common... I guess, because I don't do it... no, no, well, not about my weight LOL. But men, besides age and height (it seems that there are no men under 6 feet tall), lie about the measurement, stiffness and hardnes of another “attribute”.
Regarding your questions, well, I've taken a look at the beta version of the site and haven't seen any significant differences from the current one: I'd be happy if it had fewer bugs.
And yes, in the past, between 2004 and 2015, I had success using this site; four men in total with whom I had sex in the real world, repetadly. I still see one of them often, but after that the site has been completely useless for that purpose (the main one) because, at least in Europe, the issue of user distances is now a total disaster.
Men lie about that? 😲
It does have quite a few bugs and formatting flaws.
I think many would welcome your success here. Distance is always a challenge.🤗
@Paulxx001
Yes, well, a little white lie, not substantial one, is part of flirting, of mating games, like those male pigeons that puff up their feathers to show off in front of the females even though underneath they're scrawny.
As for the new site, I've only glanced at it for less than half an hour, and it hasn't really impressed me. What would be frustrating is replacing an old site full of bugs with a new one full with different bugs; it's like replacing an old pigeon with a young one, but both scrawny and have lice… I mean bugs.
A kiss, Aura
@AuraAviatik6
Scrawny pigeons: good analogy.😂
True, about transferring bugs. I made that comment to Andrew about that.
I have made more than 70 suggestions and observations there so far. And I'm not done yet. 😲
@Paulxx001 I see you're very serious about helping with the new site format, thank you so much, really. I don't have the patience to help with that myself.
It's actually very simple to do, and I'm getting the hang of the layout of that NEW site.
My motivation is purely selfish. I want MY blog (and ALL blogs) to be formatted with the visual aesthetics bloggers had intended: not the fricken gibberish that I see there now. 😶
I am still drying my eyes from laughing so hard and nearly falling out of chair after reading this.
FrankeeZee is quite a character with a unique POV.
He and I go way back. 😂
Have I met some interesting people here? Yes, likely more than I care to admit or wish to remember.
Have I shared a few laughs and interesting conversations? I have.
Have I enjoyed the member's lounge, over on the second floor? I think I got lost trying to find it. I might need someone to take me there. ? I've finally gotten to the point of blocking men who feel the need to send me unsolicited dick pics to show me how much they are enjoying my photos at the moment. Flattering? Maybe. But I really much prefer to see their smiles. I was never here to find a ton of action, but long-term FWBs have been my success I suppose. FrankeeZee clearly has too much time on his hands.
Well... anything more than zero is "success." And I'm sure, each one had a story to share. 👍
I can imagine how you feel about those pics: I throw up a bit in my mouth when I see them.
That lounge would suit you. The food and music are chill.
Frankee amazes me with some of the stuff he concocts.😂
Paul if you wanted a current pic of me, all you had to do was ask, LMAO!!
So, Paul, are you actually tempted to drop that c@sh for the Deluxe Package, or are you sticking with your "drummer" charm?
As for the new site, I expect it'll still be buggy. I left feedback and got a Gold Membership. Aside from being able to send pics and funny memes via direct message to a few peeps I chat with on the dating side, it kinda falls flat for me.
Really? All I had to do was ask? Sheesh... 🤗
"Drummer charm" has always worked in the past, but Frankee is such a shill. And he paid for the sushi and subsequent libations... so. Polo is one of my brands.
Crowns are good. And have you seen the price of gold these days? Good for you.
I'm not on the Dating side very often. True, I can receive pics now. 😎
... i don't know how i missed your comment. sorry for the 3-day delay...
@Paulxx001
No worries at all on the delay Paul, some things are worth waiting for.
It sounds like Frankee knows exactly how to win a man over. Sushi and libations are a tough act to follow, but I have a feeling your drummer charm can hold its own.
You make a great point about the price of gold. I’ll just consider my new membership a very fashionable upgrade. Since your inbox is officially unlocked for media, I might just have to test out that new feature for you.
I'm sure you've heard of this drummer...
@4playlist_Sugswt
Test away...
Him? Of course. He's a fucker. Who plays with one hand while sipping coffee and smoking a joint?
I always spill my coffee. 😐
I haven't seen anything about a new site, so I can't answer your question but I've been successful in getting laid, over the years. (until I got more selective)
Well... here ya go, explore and have fun:
adultfriendfinder.com
Selective is good.
I found Netflix like that.
As long as you had fun.?
@Paulxx001 I log into that adultff dot com site ALL the time. I've seen nothing different.
@Paulxx001, @OddsAgainst I don't follow that stuff
@superbjversion2
Perhaps the link I sent you is the wrong one. It's found embedded in Andrew's video post on Club 7.
I guess it depends on how you define success. I did get laid quite a few times when I was in my sowing wild oats phase.
And there's a reason women lie about our weight. Most men have no idea what a particular weight actually looks like. I've had men interested in me, whose profiles say something like "I'm not interested if you weigh more than 140 pounds". I don't think I've seen that number on my scale since 9th grade.
I know I'm not thin and I would pick "a little extra" or "BBW" as body type so as not to be misleading. Now I just call it "average" because the average person in the U.S. is overweight, lol.
"Sowing wild oats phase.. " ?
I have a frickne vivid image... and wish it were in color.
True... And I only cared if I had to lift her over the table. 😶
I don't think an intelligent man would care. They'd be enthralled, intrigued, and impressed.
I definitely would have appreciated a helping hand, here and there, from a strong arm.
Star Trek, are you a fan?
Riker, Data, Tasha Yar, and Deanna Troi visit a planet ruled entirely by women where the men are treated as second-class citizens.
YOU... would have ruled! 🤗
@Paulxx001 I may want more details about that "lift over the table" comment. Do you do that often?
@Paulxx001 I haven’t seen that Star Trek episode but just a couple days ago I watched a Netflix movie called Ladies First. The main character is a sexist guy who gets knocked out and hallucinates a world where women are in charge and condescend to the male underlings. It was dumb but had some funny moments.
@MyNameIsKay
Not as often as I'd like. 😶
Or do I simply prefer beds... with a firm mattress?
@MyNameIsKay, @smartasswoman
Sacha Baron Cohen, Rosamund Pike, 'dumb but funny': sounds like a plan.
I've cued it up. 😎
@Paulxx001 I've been grabbed by the ankle and dragged across the bed before but never lifted over a table. (For the record, the dragging across the bed was hot! Lol.)
@smartasswoman
OK, yes. Some parts were heavy-handed and exaggerated. But overall, I thought it was pretty clever. Many of the gender-swapping gags and details (although recycled) had me either cringing or laughing.
Do men really sound as bad as those women did?
The absurd details were eye-openers: a female Pope? Cohen and Pike had some genuine moments, and I had to smile as they flipped familiar gender tropes. And I am a sucker for happy endings. I gave it four out of five stars. Yeah... I enjoyed it. Thanks for the recommendation.👍
@MyNameIsKay
Ankles, dragged, bed: a string of words that sound familiar.🔥
The table was convenient, but an inch or so too high, hence the lift.
@Paulxx001 you ask... "do men really sound as bad as those women did?" My feeling is that they used to, but maybe things are getting better? I don't know what they might say when we (women) are not around, though.
I guess if you measure success by:
Then the answer is yes! 😎
And that new site?
Needs a bit of polish.
@mufdiver69er2
Ahh... the Bobs.
Those were simpler times.
True... 🤗