When it comes to food there is none of this only being allowed one type of food only.
Sometimes you feel like a pepperoni pizza, and sometimes you fancy something different like a jam packed spicy burrito.
And guess what? You can sample all of the delights as much as you like.
A boyfriend always has a little moan when you cancel plans to have a cheeky Netflix binge, or decide to watch a few episodes without them.
But food is so understanding and it never complains and it loves nothing more than accompanying you through a marathon session. Pass the buttery popcorn please.
Yep, food needs no direction in hitting the spot every single time.
None of this guidance nonsense.
Sometimes you are hesitant to share with a boyfriend your guilty pleasures in life, like how you eat doughnuts in bed, and love a bit of fried chicken instead of a Sunday roast, because you know they’ll find it a bit weird.
But with food there is none of this hiding business.
If you want to eat a pack of raw cookie dough at 3am when you can’t sleep, food will never judge you for this.
A boyfriend, on the other hand, may just think you’re a bit strange, and possibly will tell his mates.
Whereas a boyfriend gets a bit judgemental when you stroll home barefoot because your shoes were pinching you, food never gets mad and instead comforts you at the end of a night out.
Large kebab in pitta please.
In the long run, food works out to be way cheaper than having a boyfriend.
Even if you purchased food only from Waitrose for an entire year it would probably be cheaper than constantly having to buy one of those Xbox type games for a boyfriend.
Have you ever eaten a rich gooey salted caramel brownie with a dollop of smooth vanilla ice cream and felt let down?
Or feasted on a big plate of sushi and walked away disappointed? No, no you have not.
Has a boyfriend ever let you down by cancelling plans to watch some type of sporting event with his mates? Exactly.
A cheesy boyfriend can feel very cringe and make your skin crawl.
But when it comes to food, you simply can’t get enough of the cheesy stuff.
Melted cheddar over baked beans, feta salads, even a pack of Quavers. Bring it on.
If food likes you, it lets you know because you get that lovely warm feeling in your belly.
Think back to the first time you tasted Nandos.
Nandos didn’t play any games with you, there was a mutual appreciation right away and ever since then you love one another.
In contrast a boyfriend will navigate a relationship like he’s playing a game of chess.
A boyfriend is more likely to give you a lecture on the fact that you’re ridiculously hungover and will refuse to engage in cuddles because you smell a tad boozy.
But not food. When you’re hungover that full English brekkie is on hand to cuddle the pain away and scare that hangover off. Thanks.
None of this overpowering aftershave nonsense.
A boyfriend is high risk, because he may just be sharing his, erm, portions with everyone else.
But with food you can totes mark your territory and ensure that it is only to be enjoyed by you and only you.
There is some quite relaxing about offloading your latest issues into a bowl of porridge, because the porridge silently listens to your problems and gives you comfort.
A boyfriend simply cannot be trusted to actually listen to you.
White chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate fountains.
Can a boyfriend ever make you happy as chocolate? We rest our case
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1 comment
Of course having a boyfriend is great, but let’s be honest – a freshly cooked bowl of sweet potato fries is way better.
Boyfriends are fun, and they do little cute things like cuddle you during a bit of Corrie, but can they really outdo a freshly baked Victoria sponge? No, no they cannot.
Food is better in so many way, it’s always there for you, smells delicious, and never judges you.
Can a boyfriend /gf meet all of those requirements? You know the answer.